


Thoughtless

by giles_forever8495



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:34:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22609378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/giles_forever8495/pseuds/giles_forever8495
Summary: The end of the world is near, again. The Mayor is the big bad, and Angel never made it to prom. Giles and Buffy have a moment of...thoughtlessness.
Relationships: Rupert Giles/Buffy Summers
Comments: 12
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I realized that I posted a rough draft of this by accident...I fixed it.
> 
> *I own nothing, Joss is the boss*

Giles talked with some other teachers, tirelessly keeping his eye on the door, waiting for her to walk to in. He told himself it was because he needed to be sure she was safe, alive, and hopefully not chasing a few hellhounds. He looked up again, for the fiftieth time since the evening began, and, finally, there she was; Buffy walked into the gymnasium slowly. She almost seemed a bit timid. Going stag was supposed to be a good thing; Buffy thought to herself. As she scanned the crowd of people, she caught the eye of her Watcher. She gave him a small smile and a nod to assure him the danger was over – for now.

She looked so beautiful in that dress. And Giles realized that his smile grew when he saw her. Giles nodded back to her, proud of his Slayer. She went off to find her friends, and Giles's heart erupted with happiness for the first time in years. She gets to have her regular night of fun with friends. No danger, no demons, just some music, and a little dancing. And to finally be recognized by her peers? Giles had almost lost hope for the youth of Sunnydale.

As the night went on, Giles would catch Buffy off to the side of the crowd. He smiled longingly at her, desperately wanting to ask her for a dance. But Giles couldn't. He was a teacher, her mentor, and Angel had just broken her heart. Then again, maybe that could be the perfect excuse. She needed a shoulder, and Giles was more than happy to provide it. He wanted to hold her, to comfort her, to tell her that everything would be all right – even if both of them knew otherwise. Giles wanted to dance with her, just once. He needed to lose himself in her eyes as the music flooded the space around them. His heart ached to cherish her the way that she deserved to be loved. He wanted…her. When had he fallen in love with her, Giles asked himself? When had she suddenly become this beautiful woman?

"Mr. Giles," Wesley walked up, interrupting Giles's rather pleasant thoughts about Buffy. "I'd like your opinion," Wesley said, fixing his tux as he sat by the older Watcher.

Giles wanted him to leave, but kept silent and hoped that Wesley would take the hint instead. He didn't.

"While the last thing I wish to do is model bad behavior in front of impressionable youth," Wesley continued. Giles's smile faded, and he sighed inwardly. "I wonder if asking Miss Chase to dance w-"

"For God sakes man," Giles interrupted, unwilling to listen to Wesley any longer. "She's eighteen," Giles took his glasses off and let them hang from his fingertips, "and you have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone. Just have at it would you and stop fluttering about…" Giles stopped when he saw Buffy across the gym, and a thought occurred to him. He stood immediately, putting his glasses back on, and leaving Wesley behind. As Giles walked towards his Slayer, a million questions crossed his mind. What if she said no? What if she was disgusted? What if she hated him for the asking? But, what if she said yes? If they all may die on graduation day, Giles decided this was worth the risk.

Buffy watched as the other couples danced. She was happy that she could give this moment to them, really, but…she also wished that she could be a part of it.

"You did good work tonight, Buffy," Giles said with a sincere smile. He had come up from behind her, and she was surprised to be happy to see him.

She turned around with a smile, "And I got a little toy surprise!" She said, twirling around her sparkly umbrella trophy.

He chuckled gingerly. "I had no idea children en masse could be gracious," he looked down at her and smiled, genuinely proud of her.

"Every now and then people surprise you," Buffy agreed.

"Every now and then," Giles repeated, and he reached for the umbrella. "Will you have this dance with me, Buffy?"

She was shocked at first. She didn't know what to say, but Giles was already reaching for her hand and guiding them to the dance floor. A slow song was playing the mood around them was peaceful, romantic even. Buffy looked up into Giles's eyes and caught something she hadn't seen in him before. He smiled and gently pulled her closer to his chest with a hand on the small of her back. What is happening right now, she thought? Their eye contact lingered, and she found herself smiling up at him with the rest of the world slowly fading around them.

They swayed softly to the music. Giles wondered what she was thinking, but before he could ask, she spoke. "I never noticed that there's a little spot in the green part of your eye."

His eyes crinkled as he chuckled softly, "Yes." He paused for a moment taking a steadying breath, "You look magnificent tonight, Buffy." As he spoke, Giles absently rubbed his thumb along her spine. The motion sent tingly chills through Buffy, and she smiled up at him again.

"Thank you," she whispered around the hum of music. She looked at Giles, his tux, and noticed for the first time how well he looked, too. She always saw Giles and the stuffy, old Watcher/Librarian. She never imagined he could look so 'James Bond-Pierce Brosnan' …sexy. Whoah, Giles and sexy in the same thought, she said to herself. "I feel like I'm seeing you for the first time," she said aloud, not necessarily meaning to.

"What do you see?" Giles asked, only slightly fearing her answer.

"You," she breathed. Her hand moved up Giles's shoulder, and she brushed the ends of his hair with her fingertips. "You're always the one that's there for me, Giles. I don't think I have ever really thanked you for that." She lifted herself to her tiptoes and gently placed a kiss on his cheek.

The song ended, and the pair reluctantly pulled away from each other, the world around them reappearing. Willow, Oz, Xander, and Anya walked over them as the party continued. Not much else came from that night. The Scooby gang had laughs and shared good company. They told stories, danced more, and inevitably the weight of the pending apocalypse fell back onto their shoulders.

As the gang made their way home, Buffy stopped Giles outside the school. She looked off at the others before she spoke. Wesley took Cordelia home, Willow and Oz went off together, and Xander and Anya had somewhat of an awkward goodbye. "Thanks," Buffy spoke. She smiled at Giles's furrowed brow, "For the dance."

"Oh, yes," he smirked. Giles absently removed his glasses and held them between his fingers. "It was rather, em, lovely."

Buffy smiled again. When did she start to love the way he spoke? She didn't want to leave, not just yet. She oddly wanted to spend more time with her Watcher, only not in the Watcher-Slayer sense. She inquired for a moment, "Why did you ask me…to dance, that is?"

Giles had so many reasons, but none of them seemed like the right thing to say here. He could have told her that it was because she looked beautiful, or because he wanted to give his Slayer the Prom night that she deserved, but the truth was – at some point he had fallen madly in love. Giles wasn't quite sure those words could be spoken, not right now. But he did need to say something… "I suppose it was because I couldn't let the most beautiful woman stand alone while others around enjoyed the melody." Well, that was rather bold, Giles pondered. He was surprised at himself.

Without thinking, Buffy reached forward and kissed Giles. She wrapped her arms around his neck and carded her fingers through his hair. It was quick and unexpected. Giles tensed and then slowly wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to his chest. He gave in to the kiss ultimately. After a few moments, they broke apart for breath but stayed wrapped around one another. Giles rested his forehead against Buffy's and rubbed his palms up and down her ribs.

"I don't know why I did that," Buffy whispered with a smile. Then she giggled, "You're a pretty good kisser, Giles."

Giles returned with a small giggle of his own, "I've been told that before," he smirked. As Giles looked down at Buffy, he could see a range of emotions flash across her eyes. He couldn't name them all, but he was definitely confident that she wasn't prepared for this sudden shift in their relationship.

"Buffy," Giles started slowly.

"I don't want to talk, Giles..." Buffy whispered with closed eyes.

"What do you want?"

She was quiet for a moment, trying not to think too hard before she spoke. "You," Buffy pleaded.

Giles didn't want to think. He knew they would need to talk eventually, but maybe it could wait. If they defeat the Mayor and survive, perhaps then the Watcher and Slayer could share their feelings. For the time being, he simply took her home.

Buffy laid her head on his shoulder all the way back to Giles's apartment, and he kept her hand wrapped in his for as long as he could. When they stepped inside, he lifted her and carried her up the stairs. The way they undressed each other was akin to a sacred ritual - slowly, passionately, and filled with desire. At every inch of skin that was revealed, Giles placed a kiss. Buffy explored the scars and tattoos on his skin with gentle caresses. Giles held Buffy as he laid them on the bed, searching her eyes before gently kissing her lips.

Giles slid his hand down her body, massaging her breasts and rolling her nipple between his fingers. Buffy moaned into his mouth, begging for more, and that made him smile. He continued his quest south of her naval and found that soft tuft of hair between her legs. She spread them for him earnestly. He kept kissing her, moving his lips over her jawline and down the smooth skin of her neck. Giles could feel the anticipation rise within her until finally he slipped one finger between her folds, gently stroking her wet center and around that sensitive bud of nerves. He leaned up one arm to watch as he drove her closer to the edge. She whimpered, her legs quivered beneath him until finally, she came beneath him.

As Buffy's eyes fluttered open, she saw Giles smiling over her. His eyes darkened with desire as he slowly removed his fingers from between her legs and brought them to his lips. She watched as his tongue darted out to lick the wetness off of his fingers. Buffy heat rising within her, she smirked up at the man and flipped him onto his back.

Giles laughed openly with her, "What are you doing?" He asked coyly.

Buffy bent down and kissed his neck, just under his ear. "My turn," she whispered seductively. Buffy spent time slowly kissing his chest, exploring every part of him, until she felt his erection press against her thigh. She moved over him to straddle his pelvis. Giles let out a strangled moan as Buffy moved over his erection. She wrapped one hand around his penis and slowly started pumping him until his hips bucked. It was Giles's turn to beg for more. Buffy released him and positioned herself over his erection. As she slowly slid herself onto Giles, they both moaned.

"Oh, god, Buffy," Giles breathed helplessly as she began to set a steady pace. He reached up to tuck a few stray hairs behind her ear, and then he moved both hands to cup her breasts. As Buffy's thrusts got faster, Giles reached between them to rub circles around her clit. The sensation sent chills throughout Buffy's body, and for a moment, she stopped moving. Giles took the opportunity to roll them over and take control once again. He thrust his hips into her, pushing her closer and rubbing her clit.

She moaned his name, encouraging him to keep going, "Faster, Giles!" She pleaded. Giles was more than happy to oblige. Buffy moaned his name again, and Giles felt her inner walls quiver around him as she came for a second time. The sight of her coming around him brought Giles over the edge and into oblivion with his Slayer.

As the pair came down from their orgasmic high, Giles slid out of Buffy and moved to lie beside her. Buffy immediately missed the warmth of his body and found herself pushing closer to him, cuddling up to his side. Giles reached down to pull the bedsheets over them. He wrapped his arms around Buffy, and she quickly fell asleep in his arms.

Giles stared up at the ceiling. He felt content, sated with his Slayer by his side. But as the adrenalin faded, his thoughts changed. Questions started flooding his mind about his relationship with Buffy. This new element could potentially break them apart irreparably. He couldn't lose Buffy. More importantly, Giles couldn't live with himself if he had somehow damaged her trust by taking advantage of her.

He decided that they would talk in the morning, whether Buffy wanted to or not.  _ Apocalypse be damned. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I wrote this, my thoughts were kind of all over the place...But I figured, Buffy's thoughts were all over the place too, so I went with it.

The morning sun rose over Sunnydale. As its warmth spread through the window, Buffy sighed happily. She stretched her arms out to her sides and reached the man next to her. She furrowed her brow when she felt cold sheets. Buffy opened her eyes and slowly sat up, looking around the loft bedroom. "Giles?" She called.

"I'm downstairs, Buffy!" He spoke from the kitchen. Giles had been up for a few hours, not able to sleep through the night. "I've made some tea if you'd like some," he called up the stairs. 

A few minutes later, Buffy came down the stairs wearing one of Giles's oversized shirts. He smiled as he watched her. Her hair tossed around in every direction from their night of passion. Giles laughed to himself as Buffy combed her fingers through said hair and whined at the matted mess. 

"Hey, no laughing. Bedhead is a serious business!" Buffy excused herself to the bathroom.

Giles set the water on to boil. He already had a few cups of tea before Buffy woke, so the ingredients he needed were already out. He set two cups on a tray with a small glass of milk and a bowl of sugar. The kettle whistled as Buffy stepped back into his view. "Good morning," Giles smiled softly as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. 

Buffy smiled softly at him. His gentleness touched her to her core; it almost reminded her of… She stopped that train of thought as soon as she could, but not before her Watcher noticed the smile on her face fade away. 

"Is everything all right?" Giles asked, setting the full teapot on the tray.

She forced a smile, not wanting him to see the sadness in her eyes, "Just peachy." Buffy cringed a little internally. Her voice had sounded a bit too peppy, to be honest. She just hoped that Giles hadn't noticed. 

Giles focused his attention back onto the tea tray. He gripped the handles and carefully carried it to the living room where he gestured for Buffy to sit. So many thoughts ran through his mind as they both tended to their teacups. Giles had absolutely no idea how to broach this particular subject. He wanted to start with how proud he was of her - how she had overcome so much this past year and had become such an amazing young woman. Giles needed to tell her that he hadn't meant to take advantage of her during this heartbreak.

Most importantly, he wanted her to know that he would always be here for her and that if she was just using him as some sort of rebound, he could live with that. Well, he couldn't really live with that because he loved Buffy. She was, is everything to him. She might break his heart entirely, but if he could still be in her life, Giles didn't care. Giles's thoughts were beginning to get too muddled to navigate. He was having trouble finding something to say. 

Buffy wasn't handling this any better. The silence grew between them, and she could sense that Giles was lost entirely to that Watcher brain of his. She was beginning to get uncomfortable. All she wanted to do was not think for once but in this deafening silence? The thinking was the only thing Buffy could do. It started with the dance and the music, then she had noticed that beautiful little spot in his eye…and then she had kissed him, and…and…she had slept with him. Giles, Rupert Giles, her Watcher. She slept with Giles. She spent an entire night fucking Giles! No, she thought fiercely, it wasn't _fucking_. She could taste the bile in her throat as the word popped into her brain again. They had sex, but it was more than that. Giles was gentle and kind, and …what's the word, she thought… _loving._ They had made love last night.

"We had sex," Buffy finally blurted, startling herself and Giles. She looked up at him, and then repeated, "We had sex, Giles." Giles just stared at her. His mouth hung open a bit as he fumbled for the words to speak, but she kept going. "I spent my Prom night with my Watcher, and we made love. And somehow," she stood and started pacing the small space, "I'm not at all freaked out by it. I mean, I'm freaking out a little here, but not in the 'grossed-out' sort of way. Because it was great," she looked at him and emphasized the point again, "It was really great, Giles. It's just that, well, Angel and I just broke up, and he's pretty much the only guy I've been with, Giles. Except now, all I can do is think about you, Giles. And your eyes, and your skin, and the way you felt inside of me. And God! What were we thinking? We weren't thinking, we were thinkless…I mean, thoughtless! Giles! WE HAD SEX!" Buffy finally stopped pacing, and eventually took a breath. She had ended right in front of him. He hadn't said a word or even made a sound. Buffy was starting to wonder if he was broken…

Giles realized he had been holding his breath the entire time she spoke. He exhaled softly, "Please sit down, Buffy." He slowly reached for her hand and guided her to the seat next to him. "It was a mistake," he said quietly, and immediately he regretted it. "You're very right to say we were thoughtless," he spoke slowly now, keeping his voice to almost a whisper. His heart filled with so much shame. "We shouldn't have, I shouldn't have taken advantage of you. You're just a girl, and someone I am supposed to care for…"

"I'm eighteen," she interrupted, suddenly feeling the urge to defend him against…well, himself. "I'm not a girl anymore, and you didn't take advantage of me, Giles. I basically begged you to, well actually, I did beg you." Buffy shook her head at herself and took a deep breath. "I don't think it was a mistake," she added quietly. "God, I can't even think straight." She did her best to steel her emotions and looked him in the eye, "I don't regret last night. Maybe, we moved too fast, sure, but I _don't_ regret it. You mean the world to me. I'm just…confused. There's so much going on right now with the Mayor and Faith and Angel. I don't think I can do this right now." 

"What exactly is it that we're doing, Buffy?"

"I don't know," she sighed. "But whatever it is, it needs to wait until after graduation."

"And if we don't make it that far?" Giles asked quietly. 

"Then I guess it doesn't matter."

That was the end of their conversation. Giles had cleaned up the tea that they never actually drank, and Buffy changed into a pair of Giles's shorts and a t-shirt. Her dress had ended up on the floor of his loft, so she borrowed a hanger from Giles's closet. He drove her home, and neither one of them said another word about their night together. 

They had spent the next week pretending as if it hadn't happened, and it was easy to do considering: Faith tried to kill Angel, Buffy let him drain her to save his life, Buffy put Faith in a coma, the Mayor turned into a giant snake, and they blew up the entire high school. The first real moment they had together was when Giles gave her the high school diploma that she had worked so hard to earn. 

The summer flew by with Buffy, Willow, Xander, and Oz celebrating the whole 'life' thing. By the time Buffy moved on campus, their lives had drifted too much. Giles had a broken heart that he tried to mend with anger, and Buffy had a pile of confusing emotions that she still couldn't sift through. 

* * *

Buffy lay back on her bed. Her head was spinning, and she couldn't sleep. Willow walked in from her afternoon class and tossed her bag to the foot of her bed. "Hey Buff," Willow chirped as she plopped down onto the bed next to Buffy's. Then Willow noticed the expression on Buffy's face. She had seen that expression a lot lately. At first, she thought it was just the whirlwind of freshman-life, but they've been in school for a few weeks now, and Willow was sure Buffy had adjusted. "Is everything okay?" Willow finally asked her friend. 

"Ugh!" Buffy huffed in frustration. "I can't think anymore, Will!" 

"Oh, Buffy, if you're having that much trouble with Psych, maybe you should just switch," Willow said. 

Buffy threw her hands up in the air and let them flop at her sides. "It's not Psych, Willow. It's not school at all. School is easy…for once."

"Well, then, what is it? 'Cause you haven't been yourself lately, and I'm starting to worry." 

Buffy took a deep breath and sat up. It was time to tell Willow everything. "Okay, I have to tell you something, but I need you to promise me that you're not going to wig out on me." Willow moved to the edge of the bed, totally ready to listen. She nodded her head, urging Buffy to continue. "So, you know how Angel never showed up to the Prom?"

"This is about Angel? I thought you moved on. I mean, after graduation, you seemed totally fine about Angel leaving and all that."

"Yeah, I'm definitely over him," Buffy paused. She was so nervous. Not knowing how Willow would react to this information was more than a little scary. "Well, anyway, you remember how Giles danced with me, so I wouldn't have to be alone?" Willow nodded again, and Buffy took a deep breath. "After the Prom, I went home with Giles, and we…we slept together."

The amount of time that Willow stayed silent was too much time. Buffy was starting to get very anxious. She couldn't tell if Willow was mad, happy, surprised, totally, and utterly shocked…well, the shocked part is probably accurate. Willow just stared at her, mouth hanging open and wide-eyed. 

"Willow?" Buffy tried to get her attention. "Will, say something. You're freaking me out."

"You had sex with Giles?" Willow finally asked in a very quiet voice. And then her brain started moving again, "What was it like? I mean, gosh, Giles? I used to have the biggest crush on him!"

Buffy laughed a little. "It was," she paused for a moment, trying to think of the best single word to describe the whole experience. "Unreal, like something out of a romance movie." She smiled at the memory, but then her smile began to fade. "And then the next day he said it was a mistake. But it didn't feel like a mistake! It felt like…like…"

"Like it was meant to be?" Willow finished for her. Willow knew enough about Watchers and Slayers that the relationship between them was precious. She had read some of the old Watcher diaries that Giles had, and it wasn't entirely uncommon for Watchers and Slayers to have a romantic relationship. It was, however, frowned upon by the Council. Fortunately for Buffy and Giles, they didn't work for the Council anymore. Willow started to understand the way Buffy had been acting lately. "Buffy, I've done some research on Slayers. Before we burned the school down and all, I used to read the old diaries from previous Watchers - the ones that Giles kept in his office? And there have been a few Slayers over the past few hundred years who have actually married their Watchers. The Council doesn't approve, but I mean, when does anyone really listen to them?" 

Buffy chuckled, and then it dawned on her, "Wait, so you're not freaking out? I was expecting you to freak out."

"Well, it is a little weird because Giles is so much older, but I really think this is of the good! Well, except the part about Giles saying it was a mistake and all."

"Yeah," Buffy whispered. "I was trying not to think about it too much at the beginning of the summer because we had finally killed the Mayor and all, but it's been a few months now, and we still haven't talked about! I don't even know if he wants to talk about it. And my thoughts are too confusing to navigate…I really need your help, Will."

"Of course! Whatever you need, Buffy." Willow moved to sit next to Buffy on the other bed. "What can I do?"

"Help me figure out what to do?" Buffy asked, with tears welling in her eyes. 

Willow wrapped her arm around Buffy's shoulders. "What do you want to do?" Willow started.

"I don't know…that's the problem, I guess. I mean, I don't want to lose Giles. He's one of the most important people in my life. And right now, I feel like I'm losing him."

"Well, you definitely need to talk to him, even if he doesn't want to. We should try and answer every question he'll ask."

"You think he'll have questions?" Buffy's eyes widened. 

Willow huffed a laugh and shook her head, "Not terrible questions. More along the lines of 'what now?'"

"Oh," Buffy thought, "Right."

"Say you and Giles finally talk, what do you want the outcome to be? Do you want to just stay friends?"

"Just friends?" Buffy frowned. "I don't think I can just be Giles's friend anymore. I mean, we're barely friends as it is, and I can't handle not being able to talk to him like we used to talk."

"See! Good," Willow cheered. "You're making progress. So, not just friends, you want something more."

"SO much more," Buffy started walking around the room, not precisely pacing, just moving to help her thoughts flow. "I just don't know what that more is right now. I'm not exactly trying to get married tomorrow or anything…"

"That's a big leap," Willow giggled. "You could try just going on a date. Buffy, this whole thing started with you skipping right to sexiness. Taking things slow would be advised."

"Slow," Buffy breathed, "I can do slow."

Willow smiled. She was glad to see Buffy acting more herself. Willow watched as Buffy walked around the room, thinking. "What else did Giles say the last time you spoke?"

"Huh?" Buffy looked up at her friend, "Oh." Her brow scrunched up, "He had started saying something about me being a girl he was supposed to be caring for, and then I got mad because even after we had sex, he still sees me like some kid."

"So he's having trouble with the whole age difference thing."

"Which I understand," Buffy sat back on the bed. "I mean, I totally understand. It kinda wigs me out too, but to be fair, he's like one-hundred-plus years younger than Angel, so…"

Willow started laughing. "You really dig the older guys, huh?"

"I guess so," Buffy laughed. They laughed together for a few minutes before either of them could catch a breath. "What am I gonna do?" Buffy finally asked. "How am I supposed to make him see past that?"

"You gotta let him know that it's not as weird as it seems. You're both adults, Buff! Age shouldn't and doesn't matter; it's not like he's not taking advantage of you. This is something you want, right? Not just the sex, but also a relationship? I'm guessing he doesn't want to jump straight to marriage either."

"I don't know what he wants, Willow. He asked me to dance, and then like three hours later, he was literally undressing me."

"What happened in those three hours?"

Buffy thought back to that night. After they dance, Buffy and Giles had spent the rest of the evening with their friends. It wasn't really anything different than usual. The one thing that changed was the way Buffy had started to see Giles. She stopped seeing him as a stuffy librarian, and started seeing him as a man. But, Buffy was also hurting. Buffy kept thinking about Angel – about how much her heart hurt because of him…again. The only thing that brought her back was Giles. "I think I started to fall for Giles. My heart was broken, and he was the only thing that really made me feel better. And then, when the night was ending, I couldn't think about not being with him. I couldn't think at all, which is why it happened. I kissed him without thinking because it was what I wanted. I saw Giles like I was seeing him for the first time and he was the most brilliantly, beautiful thing I had ever seen. All I wanted was Giles. I really haven't given Angel much thought since."

When Buffy looked up at Willow, she realized that Willow was doing the staring thing again. Except, this time, Willow had tears in her eyes. "Tell him that," Willow said. "Because if anyone ever said that to me, I think I'd fall madly in love." Buffy leaned forward and hugged Willow. "Don't get mad at me for saying this, but in the past, you have acted kinda crazy in terms of Angel."

Buffy started to interrupt, but Willow held her hand up to stop her. "I'm not saying you didn't have your reasons. I'm just saying, if Giles can make you forget about all of that, he's someone worth fighting for."

"He has always been someone worth fighting for; now it's just a different fight." 

"I think you're ready."

"As I'll ever be," Buffy grabbed her coat and headed for the door.

* * *

Giles was sitting at his desk, drinking a cup of tea and reading the newspaper. There were a few new missing persons posted, and he made a note to remind Buffy before her patrol tonight. As he circled the last article, Giles heard a knock at his door. 

"Buffy," he smiled as he pulled the door open and let her in. "Is everything all right?" He asked, suddenly realizing that it wasn't like her to just knock. 

"Oh yeah, everything's fine!" She looked uncomfortable. Giles could see that something was bothering her. He decided that her discomfort was probably the reason she was here, so he let it go. 

They stood there awkwardly for a minute or two. "Would you like some tea?" Giles asked, itching to do something rather than stand and stare. 

"Tea! I'd love some," Buffy smiled. As he walked into the kitchen, Buffy moved to sit on the couch. This is going to be much harder than I thought, she sighed to herself. 

A few minutes later, Giles walked in, holding a tray with two cups, the teapot, and some yummy looking cookies. He smiled when Buffy's face lit up. They sat in silence, Giles slowly drinking tea and Buffy munching on a cookie. Finally, Buffy felt herself relax, and while she stared at the cookie in her hand, she mumbled, "We should hang out more, Giles."

"What was that?" Giles's brow scrunched up, and he looked over at her with a small smirk.

Buffy's eyes widened slightly as she realized what she said. She stopped chewing her cookie, and sat up straight. "Well, I just mean, we don't hang out. And we should." That wasn't lame at all, she thought. 

Giles smiled. "I'm sure we can set up dinner one night with Willow and Xander. It could be like old times."

"Yeah, that sounds great," Buffy smiled, and then she frowned. "But that's not what I mean."

"What do you mean then?" He tilted his head to the side. 

She took a breath and set her cup on the table. "I mean you and me, Giles. Just us. We should go get dinner or watch a movie or go for a walk on the beach."

"That sounds a bit like you're asking me on a date."

"I didn't really plan on doing it this way, but yeah, that's pretty much what I'm saying, Giles."

"Buffy," Giles started, but he had that tone in his voice, and she knew what it meant. He wasn't going to listen to her. 

"No, Giles. Listen for a second, okay. We haven't said anything to each other for months, and I can't take it anymore. Sure, I didn't handle it well the next day, but I've had time to think! And I've been thinking. So you at least have to let me say what I need to say before you get all 'Watcher' on me." For once, Giles actually didn't stop her, so she continued. "You asked me before what we were doing, and honestly, I didn't have an answer. But that's just because at the time, we weren't doing anything! We had sex and that was it. I mean, Giles, it was great sex, but that's all that it was. Neither one of us was ready for anything else back then because of all the big bad stuff that was happening."

"You thought it was great?" He sounded a little shyer than he intended, but the question sort of slipped out. 

Buffy smiled. "Of course, I did. And then you tried to ruin it for me."

"I didn't try to ruin it, Buffy. There are many things to consider before we embark down this road."

"I've considered those things, and I don't think there are any issues we can't overcome."

Giles hoped he could get through to her. It wasn't that he didn't want to be with her, because he did, more than anything else in the world. But he was so afraid that she'd break his heart, or that he would somehow break hers. "What about your friends?" He tried. "Wouldn't they have some concern?"

"Willow is on board. She's actually the reason I came here today. And Xander can learn to live with it. He dealt with Angel, didn't he?" She stopped for a second, "well, okay, he didn't really deal with that, but he already likes you, so it's not like he can really be mad about it."

"Still, Buffy, I just think –"

"No, stop it. Why are you making this more complicated than it needs to be? I don't understand you, Giles. Don't you want to be with me?"

"Of course, I want to be with you, Buffy. That's not the problem."

"Then help me understand the problem."

"I made a mistake that night," he held up his hand to stop her from interrupting. It was his turn to ramble on. "You were not my mistake, it was that I let myself be with you. I don't want to risk losing you, Buffy, and that night I almost did. You are everything to me." Giles took a breath and busied his hands with cleaning his glasses. "I wasn't prepared those years ago when they sent me here to you. I wasn't prepared at all." He smiled at the memory. "They had me prepared for the possibility of you being somewhat difficult, but they had no idea how marvelous you were. I had no idea. You were thrown into my life at such a high rate of speed I almost couldn't keep up. When I finally did, you had become this beautiful, intelligent girl who had somehow turned into a woman overnight, and I fell madly in love with you. And that, my Love, is the problem." He stared longingly into her eyes, hoping she would understand. If they did this, they could risk losing each other, but if things stayed the same, he could handle just being her friend. 

Tears formed in Buffy's eyes as she listened to him speak. No one had ever talked about her like that before. She could feel the strength of his love vibrating through the air. It was almost overwhelming. But how could loving her be the problem? Buffy started to speak, but struggled to form words around the lump in her throat. She swallowed that lump and tried again, "How could loving me be the problem?"

Giles reached to brush a tear from her cheek as it fell from her eye. "I can't live without you. Right now, I live on the outskirts of your life. I'm okay with that because it means I still get to be a part of your life. But if we head down this road, and it doesn't work out, I wouldn't be able to live without you." He shook his head at himself, "You're too young to be held down by that kind of relationship."

"What kind of relationship? A long-term committed relationship centered on love?" She lifted her brow and had that 'you can't be serious' look. "Every girl wants that." Then she got more sincere and leaned closer to him. "I'm the Slayer, Giles. I didn't think I would need to explain this to you. My age means nothing because I have already outlived most Slayers who have come before me. Plus, I plan on dying old and grey." She reached for his hands and smiled when he didn't pull away. "I fell in love with you, Giles. And I'm not saying 'let's get married right now and have two kids,' but I am saying that…I want to be with you. Ten years from now, I'll still want to be with you. Right now, I want to get to know you the way that people do when they date. I know Giles. Hell, I even know Ripper," she laughed. "Now I want to know Rupert – the man with beautiful green eyes and a brilliant smile. What do you say?"

He didn't have an answer. All the words in every language would not be enough for Giles. Instead, he pulled her close and kissed her with every ounce of love that he had inside. They broke the kiss before it got too serious. Buffy wrapped her arms around Giles and laid her head on his chest. Giles returned her embrace, combed his fingers through the ends of her hair, and placed a kiss atop her head.

“I never thought we would come to this,” he spoke softly. “I mostly believed that you would hate me.”

Buffy pulled away from him. She reached up to touch his hair and trace a line down his jaw with the tip of her fingers. “After all we’ve been through, I could never hate you.”

Giles felt peace for the first time in a long time. His insecurities wouldn’t allow him to think of a scenario in which Buffy would truly be in love with him, but here she was proving him wrong. Giles gently kissed her again, and when he pulled away he said, “So, I think you mentioned something about a date?”


End file.
